Saturday, February 12, 2011


Current Location: Tualatin, OR

WOW! Once again, I am flabbergasted by this blogging community. First, let me thank all of you who left comments. Your support and kind words touch me more than I can say. And also thank you to those who mentioned me in their blogs. I am truly honored by the recognition. I had no idea I could cause such a stir! ;)

Oftentimes, my writing is just a form of thinking out loud and I think this was one of those times. When I started the post, I think I had a slightly different direction in mind, but I wrote what was flowing through my brain and that's what came out. My inclination is to write and rewrite until I get it just right, but sometimes I think it's better to just put it out there and let it be.

As I was writing, I think I was answering my own self doubts. For me, personally, I need to write from the heart. Ultimately, my motivation comes from within. I do go through periods where I struggle with my self esteem and it is during those times I question why anyone would find interest in my thoughts. But then I have to remind myself that I write because I enjoy it and it helps me formulate and organize my thoughts. Have you ever found that you think better while walking? When I was working and I was struggling with an issue, I would often take a break to walk around the block and would frequently return with a much clearer mind. Writing, for me, serves a lot of the same purpose.

So would I keep writing without comments? Probably, but your comments really do encourage me and I truly, truly appreciate all of them. So again, thank you!!

And now on to tonight's subject...PTSD. Yes, I'm talking about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I don't think I realized how affected we really were by the tree coming through our roof. Certainly, at the moment it happened it was a big deal and it directly affected our lives for several weeks afterwards. But once we got the RV fixed and settled back in our home, I thought it was all behind us.

Not so, appearantly. The wind makes us all cringe. We have a storm front moving through and this afternoon, the wind really picked up. We do have one tree that is near the back of the rig and as soon as things started falling, the animals were basket cases. Hunter paced and whined and wanted to crawl in the smallest space he could find. Jazzy wasn't a whole lot better; his eyes wide open with every bang. And you all know how loud an RV can be in a storm. We tried to turn on the radio to drown out the scary sounds, but I don't think it was possible to turn it up loud enough (and we wouldn't have been able to stand it!).

But it's not just the animals. We both find ourselves cringing with every noise and neither of us particularly like being under trees, whether it's in an RV or on foot. This morning, we went hiking, trying to get in a little exercise and fresh air before the storm arrived. About half way through the wind started picking up. We were deep in the forest and couldn't help but watching the top of the trees swaying. It was just a wee bit unsettling and I think it was about that time that we picked up our pace.

I wonder if our "wounds" are still too fresh and if over time, our fears will calm. Or will we always have a wind anxiety? I know it's somewhat irrational. After all, what are the chances that a tree would fall on our RV for a second time? Especially so soon after the first. But I think we are all experiencing some level of flashbacks. With each bang, I know I visualize a branch falling and causing damage. Hopefully, time will erase, or at least dull, those memories.

Thankfully, the rains arrived and the winds died down. I doubt that any of us would have gotten much sleep tonight otherwise. I never thought I'd be so happy to see the rain! :)


  1. I think I would be pretty jumpy too. I've never really liked the wind anyway and with an experience like you had, I can see why you all have PTFD (Post Tree Falling Disorder) Love you all.

  2. I always worry about older trees near our sticks & bricks when the winds start gusting, and we've never experienced a falling tree. With your experience, it's no wonder that you cringe when the winds pick up.

  3. Connie, its perfectly normal. All you need is a few more bad storms and no trees falling to lesson that fear.

    Keep writing, we love hearing what your thoughts are. The evolution of your life's journey is always interesting. Besides, we've met two great friends who we enjoy and enjoy reading about through your blog.


  4. Emma and I were in a horrible hail storm in 2009, and any little bit of hail since then immediately makes us nervous. Weather sounds are so amplified in an RV. :)

  5. At least here in the desert, we don't have the trees to worry about in high winds. They can still be bothersome though. I can sure understand your concern after having a tree fall on you!

  6. It's natural for you to feel that way. We have several trees here near our house and are always concerned during wind storms. The wind always sounds bad, and there are always things blown from the trees. Our two dogs don't enjoy it either. In the RV, it's magnified.

    Glad you made it through. Keep safe and well.
    We love to follow your blog. You are a good writer. Please keep doing it.

  7. My Mom was in a tornado once, and passed on that fear of bad weather to me. It will probably get better with time, but high winds may always remind you of the experience.

  8. I agree, just give it some time. I think all of us get a little nervous with big storms and I think that is ok, it keeps us alert. I know our weather radio is an important item when we head to the midwest (or anywhere there are severe storms). We went through a terrible storm in Kansas in a tent and I still get a little freaked by storms but it is better, so I think time will help.

  9. It will fade....I've been rear-ended in my car three times. Each time it took a few years before I would stop looking in the rear view mirror when stopped and find myself getting tense, thinking I would get hit again. I do still watch but I don't automatically think that I will get hit, I just start looking for outlets. I suspect you will always watch where you park the rig...

  10. Time is an amazing thing, it lessens memories and hurts. It also teaches us to do better in the future.

    You certainly did suffer an amazing accident and it turned out well, even though you get shakey once and a while. But someday, you'll look back and laugh about it and it will make a great story around the campfire.

    You're normal, no doubt about it! ;c)

  11. Well. This is a red letter event. This is the second day in a row that something has been said to prompt me to comment. First of all, what you have experienced is natural.

    When Jo and I first got married, she was fearful of storms. I've never really been that way. When our kids were growing up, they would get a little bit aprehensive about the storms. I sat them down one day and explained, "Heck, it was just God performing a sound and light show." It sounds corny, but I really think it helped them.

    It is fine to be cautious, it is even fine to be a bit fearful because that helps us be cautious. Just do what you can to keep the fear to a manageable level. Then next time you're in a forest during a wind storm, stop, lean against the trunk of a tree and watch the tops.

    Notice the rythym and listen to the whispering. It is actually magic. Plus, if you are looking up, anything that falls you will see.

    Trust that God is looking out for you.