Thank you, once again, for your kind words, support and suggestions. We have taken them all to heart and are working on our attitudes. And ultimately, we know we have nothing to complain about. We have our health, we have our home, and most importantly we have each other. With all the recent devestation and loss of life in the southeast, it seems so petty to find issue with any aspect of our life. We are extremely grateful for everything we have.
We are doing much better. We are still working to find peace in our current situation, but have also started planning what comes next. We are eager to continue on with the journey we started. We have agreed that it is too soon to give it up, nor do we want to give up. We haven't even given ourselves a chance to succeed, or fail for that matter.
Speaking of failure, that is one of the things that I found myself fearing. As we were talking through our feelings, I mentioned that I felt we had something to prove. Like so many of you, we had our share of naysayers. We also had a lot of people who were living vicariously through us and cheering us on. I guess I felt pressure to be successful for all of these people. And with the pressure to succeed, frequently the fear of failure joins in. But the only people we have anything to prove to is ourselves.
The other day I heard this quote by Samuel Beckett:
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
And it hit me. There's really nothing to fear. When we started out, we really had no agenda other than to experience life. There's no right or wrong. The only failure we could have had is if we didn't try in the first place. From here on out, as long as we're true to ourselves, it can only be successful. If we try something and it doesn't feel right, then it's ok to admit that and try something different. One of the best things about this lifestyle is its flexibility. Sometimes it's hard to remember that a seasonal job is not a career. Renting an RV site is not a long-term investment.
I find it kind of funny now, but one of the things that freaked me out is that this park is about 70% long-term residents. And by long-term I mean years, some upwards of 20 years. Although a small section of the park is reserved for short-term guests, overall the park has more of a mobile home park vibe (although the managers are very strict about the appearance so it doesn't look like a trailer park). I felt sucked in, as if I were never going to be able to leave. Over the last few weeks, I've heard multiple times "I thought I was going to travel too, but I stopped here and never left.". All of a sudden, I feared that would be us. Was this our new life? This definitely wasn't what I signed up for!
It now seems somewhat ridiculous admitting to this. Of course this isn't our life. It's difficult to extricate ourselves from the illusion because we're not surrounded by other RVers. Our neighbors are all stationary who just happen to live in RVs. Most of them don't choose to be mobile though. Our coworkers are all in long-term jobs/careers (I will have one other workamper who will be joining the office staff in late May so maybe that will help). We seem to be the anomoly, even in a so-called RV park.
The feelings we've had lately are ones that we never would have ever imagined. This life is full of surprises. But we'll continue to learn, as we do from each and every experience. Although we don't always understand, we know that these are all necessary lessons that we must work through.
So we will continue at our snail's pace for now, but will be eagerly awaiting the day that we can put the pedal to the metal, or at least shift out of first gear!
In closing, I would like to remember all those who were impacted by the recent storms. Hopefully, the wild weather is done with for awhile, but it is yet another reminder that nothing in this life can be taken for granted. Live your life today, for there may be no tomorrow.